All-or-Nothing?

All-Star games. They are an assemblage of the greatest, the most talented, the best of the best of their generation, all playing in the same arena against each other at their respective sports. Sounds like a pretty epic concept. It sounds like a high-profile, grab my beer and glue my ass in front of the TV type of night.

Yeah, that's what it sounds like...but you know what it feels like?

It feels like a scam, a sham, and, I guess, a million other things that rhyme with jam.

Just the thought of any professional sports All-Star game is enough to send a shiver down the spine of any real sports purist.

All-Star games are a joke. I mean, you have a collection of some of the youngest millionaires on the planet doing their jobs at half speed with no emotion in front of the paying customer. Wow, now that's entertainment. That's epic.

Whether it's the All-Star games of Major League Baseball or the NBA, the NFL's Hawaiian disaster known as the Pro Bowl, or the NHL's amazingly irrelevant All-Star matchup, no one really cares - not the players and certainly not the fans - and for good reason.

For example, with the NBA All-Star game coming up, a fan wanting to see the most explosive offensive players on the planet trying to figure out the world's best defensive players should promptly put down the remote and search for a pillow. It's not going to happen, so start dreaming.

I'm sure a few third-grade girls basketball teams could dribble around the likes of Shaq and Lebron James in the NBA All-Star game.

Anyway, I understand that nobody wants to get hurt in an exhibition game, but that's no excuse for what these professional sports leagues try to pass off as a premier, showdown of their best stars. If pride means nothing, than don't even bother taking the field.

So what are my suggestions to fix the problem? Well, I'd recommend taking a giant red marker and scribbling out every All-Star game on the calendar for every American professional sports league. Just get rid of them.

Name an All-Star lineup and then let your players rest. They don't want to play. The fans don't care to watch these heartless athletic encounters. Forget about it.

Give us an All-Star showdown that means something, or give us nothing at all.

Sadly, there will be no giant red markers. These contests will continue to be shown and the leagues will make even more money off the fans with these pathetic showcases of wasted potential.

That being the case, my ultimate recommendation to any sports fan would be to grab a few friends, your dad, or your son or daughter, and head out into the backyard and play a few games yourself.

Play basketball. Throw around the football. Hell, play kickball if you want.

What? You're too lazy? Well, than how about surfing...a little channel surfing that is.

Do whatever you need to do, just don't watch the All-Star games. Flip the station and watch some old American Gladiator reruns if you have to. Trust me, you'll be more impressed watching some scrawny dude getting pelted in the face than you'll be while watching millionaires dunk their way onto some bogus highlight reel.